All of us long for acceptance. In each of our lives there is an explicable longing for acceptance.

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Do you ever have that small feeling in the pit of your stomach that you are not worthy? That vague feeling that gnaws at us when we feel the loss of self-worth is simply our mindset that makes us think we have lost the approval of someone we care deeply about.

When our self-worth is tied up in the approval of another human being our lives will swing from one pendulum to the other.

When acceptance is what we seek from other people the sword of disappointment will be thrust time and time again into our hearts.

When we look to affirmation from people who matter to us and we don’t receive any or very little, it will simply crush us or leave us unfulfilled.

How then can we keep from this emotional merry-go-round that seems to typify our life? From once again falling into the trap that Satan seems so happy to put us in, taking the greatest pleasure when one of God’s children loses their sense of peace and joy.

A Christian too burdened down to bear the fruit of the spirit of love, joy, and peace- is a Christian that is out of commission.

What is the answer?

It comes from knowing that God approves of us and that His approval is the only thing that will fill up our cup.

But most of us go around with empty cups hoping that we will receive affirmation. We start out the day empty, and end another frustrating day empty, because no one seemed to have noticed our empty cups.

Jesus is the only one who does not get weary with our needs and the only person who can fill it!

If we stop looking around and turn our attention to Him, He will pour into our cups, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. If my cup overflows, then whatever anybody gives is just an overflow.

Do you know what happens then?

I will have been set free from self-absorption and be able to regain the ability to focus on others without expecting their approval. I will be no longer be in bondage to another person no matter how near and dear they may be to me.

But you might question…

“How can God approve of me when there are so many things in my life that He does not approve of?”

Yes, it is true. Sometimes too many to count in my life that He does not approve of, but if we are to truly understand God’s approval of us, we need to learn to separate “the sin from the sinner.”

We learn from God’s word that sin has been judged but the sinner has been saved by grace.

My inherent sin nature still causes me to sin, but when I come in repentance and turn from my sin, I am forgiven. In Christ I am no longer under condemnation. Clothed in the righteousness of Jesus, I have been accepted in the beloved.

In layman’s terms- God approves of me not because I am sinless, not because of what I have done or not done, but because He accepts what Jesus has done for me.

I am accepted in the beloved. Deeply loved and truly seen.

That means I can do nothing more to add to be “more” accepted, for God to approve of me more, affirm me more, love me more. All I had to do to be approved was to accept what God had already done for me in Jesus, to come in my brokenness, knowing that I was incapable of saving myself or receiving acceptance from a holy God because of anything I had done.

But you might say…

“I don’t feel His approval.”

Feelings are not a genuine barometer of knowing what is Truth. Have you ever thought how amazing that there is absolutely no one just like you and me? God has given each of us a unique place and purpose, knows us, loves us and longs to draw us even closer to Him.

But it could be…

that there is something holding us back – something we have a hard time letting go?

Some questions to consider:

Q. Is it un-forgiveness or bitterness that you are holding on to?

It only leads to bondage, a prison where bitterness and revenge hold you captive. God has already forgiven the person who hurt you, who may not deserve to be forgiven for the pain they caused you, but you will be set free to live an overflowing life when you finally let go and let God take care of it.

Q. Is it yourself you cannot forgive?

We have already been forgiven through Jesus. We do not have the power to forgive ourselves. Let go and let God love you so you can rest forgiven in His love.

Q. Is it fear that is crippling you?

God’s perfect love casts out fear, for fear has torment, so don’t hold onto fear but rest in the protection of his love. Nothing can come through except through His fingers of love.

Q. Do you feel shut in? Imprisoned?

Jesus came to give us a full life – an abundant, extravagant life, but we put walls around ourselves, chains that seem unshakeable, unbreakable, forgetting that God’s Word tells us that if the Son has set you free-you are free indeed.

We remain locked in a prison of our own making never realizing that the key is on the inside, and that we are free to turn the lock and be released.

Jesus came to give us an abundant life – but most of us don’t know how to live that life, because we don’t know who we are in Him.

We define ourselves by what other’s think of us because of what we’ve done or haven’t done in our lives, even by what we think of ourselves. We never measure up to our own expectations, so we live lives that are empty or only half full.

But we are not who we say you are! We are not who our friends say we are! We are not what others say we are! We are made in the image of God and He is whispering “I made You and I will carry you all the way through to the plan and purpose that I have for you.”

We have an enemy who wants to drown out God’s voice. He knows everything that the Word of God says about us. He knows that we have been forgiven, that we have been given the victory, that we are God’s masterpieces and more than conquerors, and that we have been made competent for the work set before us, but he wants us to believe otherwise.

We cannot shrink back in fear. We are who God has called us to be. He cannot destroy us, but he will try to discourage and distract us from God’s promises.

We have to know who we are in Jesus! There is no shame, no blame, no guilt, that he can pin on us. Jesus has set us free. And in the end, we win!

You can come to God just as you are – totally accepted in the Beloved.

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So many hearts today are longing to hear that they are already loved, already accepted, already approved by God. This is the message I love to share with groups of women, churches, and communities across the nation—because His truth sets us free! If you would like me to share this encouragement at your next gathering, I would be honored to come.